12:09:18~Looking Back On God's Faithfulness This Year
As I think back to last November...November 28, 2017, to be exact, all I remember is the fear I felt and the way I was wrestling with God. We loaded up the moving truck that day and I had never been so frustrated, excited, angry, and worried all at once.
My mom had just recently gotten out of the hospital and was still sick as she was preparing for another major surgery less than a month later. I was more than worried about her health and the things that were to come with that. It left us with a lot of unknowns about her future condition after the upcoming surgery.
I was angry and frustrated with God because I still did not understand why He felt the need to move me away from my family and friends and the life I had come to know over the last six and a half years. I did not want to go somewhere new. I thought I was content with where we were at, but my attitude showed otherwise. The enemy had gotten into my head and told me that God's plans for my family were not good and not secure. I began to believe those nasty lies and started telling myself that this move was a waste of time, that the new people were not going to like me, and that I was not going to be happy unless I was in Knoxville. It's a crazy sad thought to look back on, but that was the reality (false reality) that my brain had created. But little did I know that God will reveal His faithfulness to me more in the next thirteen months, than ever before in my life. He's proved Himself true and secure on so so many different occasions over the past little bit than I can count but these are just a few of the big milestones I can remember so vividly.
The first happened less than a month after we moved. On December 21, 2017, my mom went into her second colon resection surgery. I was so terribly scared and fearful of the outcome. My mom could not have been more at peace with it all and that bothered me. I can remember her telling me, "If God decides to call me home, it can be on this operating table or it can be walking down the street." I was not comfortable with that thought and wanted nothing more for her to experience some miraculous healing so that she wouldn't have to go through another surgery. As I gave her kisses before they wheeled her back, all I can remember is her telling me how much she loved me and that I didn't have to worry. She began to cry and that broke me in two. I love my mom so so much and she is one of my best friends, so I didn't want to think of anything going wrong. But God proved Himself faithful that day. He covered me with the blessing of having new church members come and sit with us and help keep my mind off of the anxiety I was having, and how in just a few hours, she would come through that surgery fine, with better results than expected. Even though she ended up having many complications after surgery in the months to come, she was still here and still my mom. And I still cry every single time I think about how faithful and secure God proved Himself to be to me that day.
The next huge milestone I can think of, would have to be my sixteenth birthday in March. If you remember, just a few minutes ago, I talked about how I had convinced myself that I was not going to enjoy living here and the people here were not going to like me. Well boy was I wrong. My mom planned me a big surprise party for my sixteenth birthday and one of the biggest things I remember was how loved I felt interacting with everyone who came! These were people I had just really started getting to know and opening up to, so I couldn't believe the love they showed me! God had proved once more that He was faithful and did not leave me stranded some place where I wasn't gonna grow and be blessed. I hope I've been a blessing to all of our friends here, but I know for sure that they've been a blessing to me.
One big thing I can think of would have to be the way that God has strategically placed the right people in my life, at the perfect time. He's still doing this for me, even to this day, but one person sticks out in my brain. She had kinda just took me under her wing since I got here. We started becoming friends because we shared a very important concern...we both have celiac. I'm not gonna call her out, but if she's reading this, she knows who she is! :) This sweet friend saw that I was struggling with the move and everything going on, and just began to love on me and mentor me. I can not imagine not having her in my life at this point. She has been such a blessing to me over the last year and will never fully know, the impact she has made in just this short time. The hugs she's given as I've been able to do nothing but cry. And the prayers she's prayed over me when I didn't even know it. And the texts to check in on me when I needed it most, have been a greater blessing and impact than she will ever know this side of eternity. So sweet friend, if you happen to be reading this, thank you so so so much! I love you! And you are proof of God's faithfulness.
And I end this rather long post, lol, I just look at general life right now. My mom is healthy. I've been blessed with an absolutely amazing relationship with my best friend. We've lived here just over a year and it has been nothing but an absolute blessing. Living here has brought me great experiences and great friends. I'm thankful for the people I have met through church and through FCA. God has blessed my short year here, and it has flown by like never before. I've had some amazing music opportunities as well and I am thankful for the people it has impacted.
God has proved Himself faithful over and over and over. These are just a few of the hundreds of times, even in just the past twelve months. I have learned to rest in His promises and trust His security.
I love each and every one of you so very much!
-Iz💛💛
My mom had just recently gotten out of the hospital and was still sick as she was preparing for another major surgery less than a month later. I was more than worried about her health and the things that were to come with that. It left us with a lot of unknowns about her future condition after the upcoming surgery.
I was angry and frustrated with God because I still did not understand why He felt the need to move me away from my family and friends and the life I had come to know over the last six and a half years. I did not want to go somewhere new. I thought I was content with where we were at, but my attitude showed otherwise. The enemy had gotten into my head and told me that God's plans for my family were not good and not secure. I began to believe those nasty lies and started telling myself that this move was a waste of time, that the new people were not going to like me, and that I was not going to be happy unless I was in Knoxville. It's a crazy sad thought to look back on, but that was the reality (false reality) that my brain had created. But little did I know that God will reveal His faithfulness to me more in the next thirteen months, than ever before in my life. He's proved Himself true and secure on so so many different occasions over the past little bit than I can count but these are just a few of the big milestones I can remember so vividly.
The first happened less than a month after we moved. On December 21, 2017, my mom went into her second colon resection surgery. I was so terribly scared and fearful of the outcome. My mom could not have been more at peace with it all and that bothered me. I can remember her telling me, "If God decides to call me home, it can be on this operating table or it can be walking down the street." I was not comfortable with that thought and wanted nothing more for her to experience some miraculous healing so that she wouldn't have to go through another surgery. As I gave her kisses before they wheeled her back, all I can remember is her telling me how much she loved me and that I didn't have to worry. She began to cry and that broke me in two. I love my mom so so much and she is one of my best friends, so I didn't want to think of anything going wrong. But God proved Himself faithful that day. He covered me with the blessing of having new church members come and sit with us and help keep my mind off of the anxiety I was having, and how in just a few hours, she would come through that surgery fine, with better results than expected. Even though she ended up having many complications after surgery in the months to come, she was still here and still my mom. And I still cry every single time I think about how faithful and secure God proved Himself to be to me that day.
The next huge milestone I can think of, would have to be my sixteenth birthday in March. If you remember, just a few minutes ago, I talked about how I had convinced myself that I was not going to enjoy living here and the people here were not going to like me. Well boy was I wrong. My mom planned me a big surprise party for my sixteenth birthday and one of the biggest things I remember was how loved I felt interacting with everyone who came! These were people I had just really started getting to know and opening up to, so I couldn't believe the love they showed me! God had proved once more that He was faithful and did not leave me stranded some place where I wasn't gonna grow and be blessed. I hope I've been a blessing to all of our friends here, but I know for sure that they've been a blessing to me.
One big thing I can think of would have to be the way that God has strategically placed the right people in my life, at the perfect time. He's still doing this for me, even to this day, but one person sticks out in my brain. She had kinda just took me under her wing since I got here. We started becoming friends because we shared a very important concern...we both have celiac. I'm not gonna call her out, but if she's reading this, she knows who she is! :) This sweet friend saw that I was struggling with the move and everything going on, and just began to love on me and mentor me. I can not imagine not having her in my life at this point. She has been such a blessing to me over the last year and will never fully know, the impact she has made in just this short time. The hugs she's given as I've been able to do nothing but cry. And the prayers she's prayed over me when I didn't even know it. And the texts to check in on me when I needed it most, have been a greater blessing and impact than she will ever know this side of eternity. So sweet friend, if you happen to be reading this, thank you so so so much! I love you! And you are proof of God's faithfulness.
And I end this rather long post, lol, I just look at general life right now. My mom is healthy. I've been blessed with an absolutely amazing relationship with my best friend. We've lived here just over a year and it has been nothing but an absolute blessing. Living here has brought me great experiences and great friends. I'm thankful for the people I have met through church and through FCA. God has blessed my short year here, and it has flown by like never before. I've had some amazing music opportunities as well and I am thankful for the people it has impacted.
God has proved Himself faithful over and over and over. These are just a few of the hundreds of times, even in just the past twelve months. I have learned to rest in His promises and trust His security.
I love each and every one of you so very much!
-Iz💛💛
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