1.7.19~Maybe This Is A Call To Step Out...
So I actually posted yesterday, and honestly didn't plan to post again today, but the Lord laid something on my heart and I was gonna share it.
This blog is my journey and so this post is definitely a big part of that. I'm going to be very real in this post. Ya'll deserve nothing less.
So my parents we're invited to go to Passion 2019 with our college class at church. They all went this past weekend and really enjoyed it. I typically wouldn't care too much about went on, since I had already watched some of it and heard about it. BUT, my dad had an idea for our corporate worship tonight, to have the young adults who went, share what stuck out to them.
Well, I honestly have a lot going on right now with my family, so I have been EXTREMELY stressed and anxious, and honestly couldn't have cared less about being there tonight. Since I had that attitude, Jesus grabbed hold of that and flipped it around and used tonight's service to really work in my heart. Through the first three-fourths of the service, I had an anxiety attack and wasn't really paying attention. Yet, as my friend Haley started to share what stuck out to her, I began to pay attention for some reason. She talked about the second message that Louis Giglio gave and you can go back and watch that message online, but here's kind of what she talked about...
Haley was talking about Louis Giglio being in John 20 and talking about Thomas. "Doubting Thomas." She began to talk about how Thomas didn't believe the disciples when they told him that Jesus had appeared to the rest of them earlier that day. Thomas wanted to see Jesus and touch His scars, to believe that He really had rose from the grave and conquered death. The big point that Louis made in all this though, was that, Jesus didn't get upset or offended at Thomas for doubting. He kind of welcomed it, in a way. Jesus simply had the attitude of, "Okay, here I am. Here are my scars. Touch them."
That hit me HARD. I had never ever thought of it in that way, but it also hit me deep in the situation I am in.
See, I have hit a place in life where I have a lot of big and decisions that I will have to be making soon. They are decisions that determine my future and the things that go on in it.
The most recent big decision that I am having to make, is the choice whether or not to join my dad and some friends on a mission trip to Uganda this upcoming summer. I have always wanted to go on a big mission trip like this, but hadn't actually planned to go on this trip. My dad was going to be the only one, out of the four of us, going to Uganda. As I was approached with the idea of me joining them in about six and a half months from now, I was instantly shocked with fear. There were two original reasons I was not going on this trip: 1.) I have a food allergy and knew it would be difficult for me to survive two weeks in a foreign and third-world country with this allergy. AND 2.) I couldn't handle the fear of going out of the country for two weeks and facing all kinds of unknowns.
Therefore, I had absolutely no plans to join them until at least 2021.
See, God didn't like that and kind of began to work on my heart through that. I had been assured that my food situation could be taken care of easily, but then there was the fear part.
So, as Haley had been talking about all this, all of these thoughts were flooding my mind. I began to get emotional and had to tuck my head to avoid just bursting into a fountain of tears. Jesus had really laid on my heart, through Haley sharing her heart, that it's okay for me to not be okay. Right now, I was not okay and that was alright. He meets me where I'm at when I lay it all down.
I began to just feel the Holy Spirit stirring inside me at that moment, and telling me, "Give me your anxiety. Give me your fear. Touch my scars. Here they are. These scars took that anxiety and fear away on the cross, at Calvary, if you'll just lay it down before me." So why was I doubting that Jesus couldn't or wouldn't take away my anxiety. Whether the anxiety be my mom's health, my parents going to California, or me going to Uganda for two weeks.
I honestly think that over this next week, the Lord is really going to teach me a lesson in anxiety conquering. I think He's going to show me that doubting isn't the worst thing, but that He'll meet me right where I'm at with everything, and that if I'm willing to give it up and lay it down, that He'll happily take it from me.
I don't know if this post means anything to any of you, but it is just something that impacted me deeply and I wanted to share. :)
love always,
Iz💛💛
This blog is my journey and so this post is definitely a big part of that. I'm going to be very real in this post. Ya'll deserve nothing less.
So my parents we're invited to go to Passion 2019 with our college class at church. They all went this past weekend and really enjoyed it. I typically wouldn't care too much about went on, since I had already watched some of it and heard about it. BUT, my dad had an idea for our corporate worship tonight, to have the young adults who went, share what stuck out to them.
Well, I honestly have a lot going on right now with my family, so I have been EXTREMELY stressed and anxious, and honestly couldn't have cared less about being there tonight. Since I had that attitude, Jesus grabbed hold of that and flipped it around and used tonight's service to really work in my heart. Through the first three-fourths of the service, I had an anxiety attack and wasn't really paying attention. Yet, as my friend Haley started to share what stuck out to her, I began to pay attention for some reason. She talked about the second message that Louis Giglio gave and you can go back and watch that message online, but here's kind of what she talked about...
Haley was talking about Louis Giglio being in John 20 and talking about Thomas. "Doubting Thomas." She began to talk about how Thomas didn't believe the disciples when they told him that Jesus had appeared to the rest of them earlier that day. Thomas wanted to see Jesus and touch His scars, to believe that He really had rose from the grave and conquered death. The big point that Louis made in all this though, was that, Jesus didn't get upset or offended at Thomas for doubting. He kind of welcomed it, in a way. Jesus simply had the attitude of, "Okay, here I am. Here are my scars. Touch them."
That hit me HARD. I had never ever thought of it in that way, but it also hit me deep in the situation I am in.
See, I have hit a place in life where I have a lot of big and decisions that I will have to be making soon. They are decisions that determine my future and the things that go on in it.
The most recent big decision that I am having to make, is the choice whether or not to join my dad and some friends on a mission trip to Uganda this upcoming summer. I have always wanted to go on a big mission trip like this, but hadn't actually planned to go on this trip. My dad was going to be the only one, out of the four of us, going to Uganda. As I was approached with the idea of me joining them in about six and a half months from now, I was instantly shocked with fear. There were two original reasons I was not going on this trip: 1.) I have a food allergy and knew it would be difficult for me to survive two weeks in a foreign and third-world country with this allergy. AND 2.) I couldn't handle the fear of going out of the country for two weeks and facing all kinds of unknowns.
Therefore, I had absolutely no plans to join them until at least 2021.
See, God didn't like that and kind of began to work on my heart through that. I had been assured that my food situation could be taken care of easily, but then there was the fear part.
So, as Haley had been talking about all this, all of these thoughts were flooding my mind. I began to get emotional and had to tuck my head to avoid just bursting into a fountain of tears. Jesus had really laid on my heart, through Haley sharing her heart, that it's okay for me to not be okay. Right now, I was not okay and that was alright. He meets me where I'm at when I lay it all down.
I began to just feel the Holy Spirit stirring inside me at that moment, and telling me, "Give me your anxiety. Give me your fear. Touch my scars. Here they are. These scars took that anxiety and fear away on the cross, at Calvary, if you'll just lay it down before me." So why was I doubting that Jesus couldn't or wouldn't take away my anxiety. Whether the anxiety be my mom's health, my parents going to California, or me going to Uganda for two weeks.
I honestly think that over this next week, the Lord is really going to teach me a lesson in anxiety conquering. I think He's going to show me that doubting isn't the worst thing, but that He'll meet me right where I'm at with everything, and that if I'm willing to give it up and lay it down, that He'll happily take it from me.
I don't know if this post means anything to any of you, but it is just something that impacted me deeply and I wanted to share. :)
love always,
Iz💛💛
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